


Changes

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-05-05
Updated: 1999-05-05
Packaged: 2018-11-10 05:47:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11121141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Still deep undercover with the mob, Ray Vecchio visits Chicago and ends up at his old precinct in trouble.  Changes in Ray deeply unsettle his friends and family.  Sordid complications from his undercover assignment put Ray's life in jeopardy, and threaten his new relationship with Fraser.  ORIGINALLY archived July 11, 1998.  NOTE: Contains references to child sexual abuse, though not graphic detail.  Rape/NC warning does NOT apply to Fraser and Ray.





	Changes

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

CHANGES

 

**Rated: NC-17**  
Drama  
Warning: contains references to pederasty, graphic m/m sex, swearing  
and some violence  
DUE SOUTH and its characters belong to Alliance and no copyright  
infringement is intended  
  
This story did not turn out at all the way I intended. It got serious  
real fast and, as my stories often do, ends on a slightly ambiguous  
note.  
  


## CHANGES

  
  
Welsh glanced up at the sudden silence in the bullpen, then  
closed his eyes briefly. Two uniforms were leading a tall, thin  
man  
in handcuffs. The man looked grim and forbidding, as befit a  
man  
under arrest. The man glanced at Welsh and their eyes  
locked. The man gave a very slight smile, a mere upturn of his  
lip,  
but it was enough. Play along, the smile said. Play along  
and we'll  
be okay. Welsh knew the smile and the owner of it.  
Ray Vecchio.  
The real Ray Vecchio, for some reason in Chicago  
where he did not  
belong.  
  
Ray knew he had to keep his mouth shut. Firmly shut,  
despite the shocked silence of the precinct. Huey stared at him,  
doing a remarkable resemblance to a stunned baboon. Ray filed  
the  
image away for future use. Frannie - his own sister,  
actually working - saw him and her mouth opened. Then it shut  
again  
and her chin firmed. Her eyes softened, but she carefully  
kept her  
expression neutral. She knew that to say anything at  
all would endanger  
him.  
  
He saw Welsh and tried to telegraph a message. Play along,  
Lieutenant, for God's sake, play along.  
  
He didn't see Fraser, thank God.  
  
****  
  
"What happened, Ray?" Welsh asked quietly. "Why are you  
here?"  
  
"The Family had a deal going down here in Chicago. I had to  
come down to see it through. No way to avoid it. I tried to  
explain that I had some old, unpaid debts in Chicago, but they  
got  
suspicious." Ray replied rapidly. "So I came in to see the  
deal through. The feds are gonna love the evidence I picked up,  
by  
the way. The deal went through real easy."  
  
"How'd you get arrested?"  
  
"I got stupid." Ray admitted. "I've been kinda homesick.  
I stopped to get a bite at Defino's and an overeager uniform  
picked me up."  
  
"Why? What were you doing?"  
  
"Nothing. Last time I checked, there's nothing illegal  
about pastrami on rye." Ray said testily. "However, I was  
carrying a piece."  
  
"So what happens now? The Family mouthpiece screams false  
arrest  
and you go free?"  
  
"Exactly. No problem, so long as nobody blows the cover."  
  
"I better call Big Red."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You want us to cooperate or do you want to stick around for  
a bit?"  
  
"It'd look better if you guys are kinda reluctant to let me  
go."  
  
"And you'd get a chance to catch up on things. Right. I'll  
send  
Civilian Aid Vecchio in to take your statement." Welsh gave  
a half smile.  
  
****  
  
Francesca looked almost shy as she went into the  
interrogation room. She checked the door to the observation room  
before going in. It was locked and empty.  
  
"Ray." She said softly. Ray rose and wrapped his arms  
around  
his sister, holding her tight. Releasing her, he noted  
tears in her  
eyes.  
  
"I've missed you." Ray said softly. "Life treating you  
all  
right?"  
  
"Yeah. I've got a real job, Ray. And I'm getting good at  
it."  
Frannie said proudly. "Of course, I applied for it  
knowing that  
you'd be gone and Fraser's still hanging around. But  
I like getting  
a real paycheque."  
  
"How's Ma?"  
  
"She's fine. Tony and Maria found this great new place and  
Ma  
likes being there."  
  
"Whoa. Tony and Maria are living in their own place? And  
Ma  
is with them? Who's living in the old house?"  
  
"Oh. I forgot. Ray..." Francesca nibbled at her lip and  
fidgeted with a lock of hair.  
  
"What?"  
  
"The house. It burned down a couple of months ago. Not too  
long  
after you left. Arson. Fraser and Ray - the other Ray -  
caught the woman."  
  
"The house? It's gone?"  
  
"Yeah. The insurance paid up and the money is sitting in  
your  
account, piling up interest. You still own the land, since  
Ma wouldn't  
hear of selling it without your consent." Francesca  
looked carefully  
at her brother, who looked strangely content.  
"You aren't mad?"  
  
"No, not really. I don't have a lot of good memories of  
that place, Frannie. It meant something to Ma, but I'm kinda  
glad to get rid of it. Later, when I come back for good, I can  
build  
something better for Ma."  
  
"She misses you, y'know." Francesca said softly. "We all  
do."  
  
"What? With the other guy here, it's like I'm not even  
gone." Ray teased.  
  
"Ray - the other Ray - is kinda weird, y'know?" Francesca  
said thoughtfully. "Real edgy, real insecure. Fraser's got him  
wrapped around his little finger."  
  
"Fraser?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm not sure how to explain it. Ray - the other Ray  
-  
follows Fraser's lead on everything. He bitches about it, but  
he  
does it. You have your faults, Ray, but you were never a  
follower."  
  
"I can't see Fraser bullying anybody."  
  
"I can. He never did it to you 'cause you were oblivious to  
it." Francesca stated. "Fraser's changed, Ray. He's still drop  
dead gorgeous and I'd let him bully me into anything he wanted to  
do, but he has changed."  
  
*****  
  
Kowalski and Fraser burst into the squad room, talking a  
mile a minute.  
  
"I tell you, Fraser, I am not imagining things. She is hot  
for  
me, you know what I mean?"  
  
"Oh, Ray, I really don't think so." Fraser said  
dismissively. "The Inspector is a very sophisticated woman, a  
professional..."  
  
"And she wouldn't be seen with the likes of me, hunh? Let  
me  
tell you something, Fraser." Kowalski stopped as Diefenbaker  
gave a short bark and bounded across the room to a thin man in a  
frenzy of delight. Fraser looked over.  
  
"Ray?"  
  
"What?!" Kowalski snapped, then looked over. Both of them  
stopped dead.  
  
"Get this damned mutt off me." Ray said loudly, pushing at  
Diefenbaker.  
  
"Diefenbaker." Fraser said sternly.  
  
"Is this mangy ball of fur yours?" Ray marched up to  
Fraser,  
looking pissed.  
  
"Er.. Yes, he is. He's part wolf."  
  
"I don't give a shit whether he's part giraffe. Get him the  
hell off me." Ray said, eyeing his friend up and down. "Who  
the  
hell are you? When did the Chicago PD started hiring Mounties?"  
  
"I first came here on the trail of my father's killers and  
for  
reasons that do not need explaining at this juncture..."  
  
"Cut the crap." Ray said disdainfully. "I wanna have a  
word with you about your wolf. In private. I wanna tell you  
something about the level of respect I expect..." Ray took  
Fraser's  
arm, none too gently and steered him into Welsh's  
office.  
  
"God, Fraser, it's good to see you." Ray said quietly,  
after making sure the office was empty and the blinds drawn.  
  
"What are you doing here, Ray?" The words were commonplace,  
but the smile was brilliant and welcoming.  
  
"I got arrested." Ray shrugged. "The Family's mouthpiece  
will have me out in a day or two and I'll be back to the job."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"I can't tell you that, Fraser." Ray said quietly. "This  
is the biggest operation against organised crime the Feds have  
ever  
done. I can't afford to slip up at all. You do not know  
me, understand?"  
  
"Of course, Ray." Fraser sounded offended. "I wouldn't  
do  
anything to endanger you."  
  
"I know that, Fraser." Ray soothed, pleased. "I wish we  
had time to really talk, Benny, but I only have a few minutes to  
be Ray Vecchio."  
  
"Should you be talking to me here at all, Ray?"  
  
"Welsh told me he'd clear things long enough to let  
everybody say hello. Then I go back undercover, call the  
Family's lawyer and start things rolling. I already spoke to  
Frannie and Huey and Welsh and Louise."  
  
"Did Francesca tell you about..."  
  
"The house? Yeah, Benny, she did." Ray smiled. "Thanks  
for  
saving her, by the way. She's a pain in the ass, but she is my  
sister."  
  
"You aren't upset about...."  
  
"Nah. The house doesn't matter. I can probably afford to  
build  
a new house once this blows over. A house that's mine, not  
Pop's."  
  
"And about your car?"  
  
"I won't get to even look at the Riv. It'd hurt too much."  
Ray said mournfully. "Seeing that car, not being able to drive  
her. No, Benny, she'd better stay with Kowalski until I get  
back."  
  
"No, Ray, your car..."  
  
"Gentlemen, I'm sorry to interrupt." Welsh stuck his head  
around the door. "Ray, time to get back into the role."  
  
"Right." Ray nodded. "Benny, I am really, really glad  
to  
see you."  
  
"I'm glad to see you, too, Ray." Fraser replied. Without  
thinking, he reached for Ray and embraced him in a warm hug.  
  
****  
  
"Just keep that stupid dog away from me." Ray demanded as  
they walked out of the office. "I trust you understand what'll  
happen if you don't?"  
  
"Perfectly." Fraser replied neutrally. He glared at Dief,  
who was looking mournfully at Ray, not understanding why his junk  
food supplier was treating him so coldly. He wasn't even begging  
for treats. He just wanted to say hello.  
  
Fraser snapped his fingers and Dief reluctantly began to  
follow. As he began to leave the room, he glanced back to Ray,  
who  
was insulting Jack Huey, obviously relishing the role of a  
Mafia  
don. He did not see the person going past him into the  
room, but felt him or her brush past him. He also heard the  
shots and saw, as if in slow motion, the men in the room dive  
behind  
the desks.  
  
****  
  
"We have your boss in protective custody." Welsh said  
grimly.  
"You can talk to him on the phone, but until these  
charges are  
cleared up, we cannot let anyone near him."  
  
"Lieutenant, I have my doubts that my client approves of  
this  
plan." The lawyer looked like a Wall Street broker, all  
grey  
pinstripes and teeth. "His civil rights are being  
violated."  
  
"No, they are not. I appreciate your concerns, but I have  
concerns  
of my own. Somebody from an alternate organization  
tried to kill your client this afternoon. Innocent or guilty, I  
don't  
need a dead man in my custody. He's been taken somewhere  
safe."  
  
"And what if he stays in your protective custody  
permanently?"  
  
"You and your friends will be very upset and I don't need  
that  
either. Too many people know about his arrest. If it'll  
make you feel better, I'll arrange a meeting for you tomorrow  
morning  
and you can talk to your client about his wishes. I got  
the impression  
he wants to stay alive."  
  
****  
  
"Well, it looks like we'll be able to talk after all,  
Benny." Ray said, looking around the hotel room. "What happened  
to the old rat trap? Building got condemned?"  
  
"It burned down, Ray." Fraser replied. "Arson."  
  
"Same job as my house?"  
  
"Yes, as a matter of fact. The arsonist was a fan of the  
performance  
arsonist we arrested two years ago. Remember him?"  
  
"Oh, yeah." Ray grinned. "So she was carrying on his  
artistic vision?"  
  
"Something like that. She burned my apartment building,  
your house and your..." Fraser stopped suddenly.  
  
"My what?"  
  
"Your car." Fraser mumbled, scratching his left eyebrow  
with his thumbnail.  
  
"My what?" Ray asked, ominously quiet.  
  
"Your car, Ray."  
  
"The Riv?" Ray went pale. "You mean to tell me you  
destroyed the Riv for the THIRD TIME?"  
  
"Well, no, Ray. You destroyed it the first time. And the  
second  
time was a bomb meant to kill you and ended up killing  
Lewis Guardino.  
This time it was an arsonist..."  
  
"Fraser. I know what happened. Each time, who was  
intimately involved with the incidents that led up to the  
destruction of my car?"  
  
"Well, you and I and Ian MacDonald, then you and I and Jack  
Huey and Lewis Guardino, then Ray Kowalski and I..." Fraser  
recited. "Oh, dear. I seem to have been involved each time."  
  
"That's right. It's your fault that I no longer own a 1971  
Buick  
Riveria."  
  
"The insurance did pay up, Ray. You can always buy a new  
one."  
  
"Assuming I can find one. Besides, you'd just find a way to  
destroy that one, too." Ray sat down on one of the beds tiredly.  
"Why do you do this to me?"  
  
"Do what, Ray?" Fraser sat down beside him.  
  
"Fuck up my life." Ray glanced at him. "Then make me feel  
like your friendship is actually worth it."  
  
"Thank you, Ray." Fraser said quietly, after a long pause.  
  
"So, what am I like?" Ray asked with a smile.  
  
"I beg your pardon?"  
  
"Ray. The other me."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"Have I ever told you just how much I hate it when you say  
that?"  
  
"Repeatedly." Fraser half smiled. "Ray - the other Ray  
-  
doesn't hate it."  
  
"Despite the ID, he isn't me."  
  
"No, Ray, he is not. He calls me a freak."  
  
"Freak?" Ray looked startled. "You're not a freak, Fraser.  
You're Canadian. There's a difference."  
  
"Turnbull's Canadian, too, and Ray doesn't call him a  
freak."  
  
"Turnbull is too weird for words, Fraser. He likes curling,  
whatever the hell that is."  
  
"It's a sport, played on ice. Each team, composed of a  
skip, second, third and forth, slides a large flattened ball with  
a handle, called a rock, across the ice. The aim is to land the  
rock  
as close to the centre of the ring, while knocking out the  
other  
team's rock. Using a broom, you sweep the ice..."  
  
"Fraser." Ray said sharply.  
  
"Yes, Ray?"  
  
"Did I ask what curling was?"  
  
"Well, no. I assumed you wanted to know."  
  
"No, Fraser. I wanted to know what Kowalski is like. Not  
how  
to play some stupid game that requires freezing your ass  
off."  
  
"Well, you don't freeze if you dress warmly enough."  
  
"Fraser!"  
  
"Yes, Ray?" Fraser said innocently, looking up at Ray  
through  
his lashes. Ray glared at him sternly, trying not to  
smile. He gave up and laughed.  
  
"I give up, Benny. How's Frannie doing as a Civilian Aide?"  
  
"Well, she's not as efficient as Elaine. She's trying very  
hard,  
though."  
  
"At the job or at getting into your pants now that I'm not  
around  
to protect your virtue?"  
  
"Um.."  
  
"I see. And has she succeeded?"  
  
"No. I'm not interested in her that way, Ray. You know  
that."  
  
"No, Benny, I don't know that. Since you act perfectly  
clueless, I have no idea what kind of women you like, other than  
criminals and Ice Princesses."  
  
"Criminals and Ice Princesses?" Fraser looked puzzled, then  
enlightened. "Oh."  
  
"Yeah. Oh. And how is Her Icicleness?"  
  
"The Inspector is fine, Ray. She hasn't tried to fire me  
in,  
oh, three weeks. And that was only because of a minor  
misunderstanding involving a fire extinguisher, a staple gun and  
the Auditor General of Canada. Nothing really important."  
  
"So there's nothing going on in that department."  
  
"What department?"  
  
"There you go with the clueless act again." Ray rolled his  
eyes. "It's not an act, is it, Benny?" He added, in a more  
serious tone.  
  
"Yes, it is, Ray." Fraser responded immediately.  
  
"It is?" Ray looked at him in surprise.  
  
"Yes." Fraser confirmed. "I am quite aware that there  
are  
women here who find me attractive and I find it easier to pretend  
that I don't understand than to be rude."  
  
"Is that a Canadian thing?"  
  
"Yes, Ray. Politeness is not only a virtue. It can be  
protective colouration."  
  
"Why not just tell them to shove off? Seems cruel to me to  
leave  
them hanging."  
  
"I find it difficult to do that, Ray. In Canada, people are  
a little more inclined to pick up on subtle clues in a  
relationship. I find Americans very puzzling in that respect.  
The  
women here are a little more... forward."  
  
"Forward?" Ray echoed, amused. "You mean you don't get  
women throwing their panties at you when you walk down the  
streets of Toronto?"  
  
"I've only been to Toronto twice, Ray, but I would assume  
that  
much of the year, it's too cold to remove ones underwear.  
Not to  
mention awkward." Fraser said, speculatively. "Although  
it is now legal in Ontario for women to go topless under the same  
circumstances that men may go bare chested."  
  
"That must lead to some interesting fender benders." Ray  
grinned wolfishly.  
  
"So I'm given to believe." Fraser replied.  
  
****  
  
Room service arrived with dinner, effectively stopping  
conversation.  
  
"Benny, how did Welsh arrange for the Deputy Liaison for the  
Canadian Consulate to watch over me? I was expecting to be stuck  
here with Huey."  
  
"Your lawyer seems to have a longstanding mistrust of the  
Chicago  
police department. Leftenant Welsh offered my services,  
with Inspector  
Thatcher's permission, as a compromise. Your  
cover identity isn't under investigation by the Canadian  
authorities and Mounties do have a reputation for honesty. I am  
to  
keep you safe and deliver you to your meeting tomorrow with  
your  
lawyer."  
  
"Dudley Do-Right strikes again." Ray teased. Fraser looked  
slightly pained.  
  
"I should tease you like that." Ray apologised. "You  
aren't used to it anymore."  
  
"Ray, why did you leave?"  
  
"Hunh?"  
  
"Why did you take that assignment?"  
  
"I was partly your fault."  
  
"My fault?"  
  
"Your fault. Okay, I am a dead ringer for Lagostini. But  
it  
wouldn't matter a rat's ass if I was his twin if I didn't have  
one  
of the best arrest records in the country." Ray replied.  
"And  
that, my friend, is your fault. I couldn't turn it down,  
Benny. You  
know how these things go. Turning this down would  
have put my career down the toilet. I just wish you hadn't been  
on  
vacation when this thing came down the wire. I couldn't tell  
you  
over the phone; the possibility of being overheard was pretty  
good,  
considering the phone service up where you were."  
  
"I thought I was losing my mind." Fraser said quietly. "I  
got back and you weren't there to pick me up. I knew you  
wouldn't be, so I tried to get a taxi..."  
  
"And you let everybody butt in front of you and ended up  
walking."  
Ray finished.  
  
"Yes. Diefenbaker was not pleased."  
  
"I can imagine."  
  
"Anyway, I got to Racine and found the building in flames.  
All that was left was Diefenbaker's water dish." Fraser  
continued sadly. "So I went to the precinct. I was rather  
hoping  
I could stay at your house for a few days until I found a  
new place  
to live."  
  
"And you met up with Welsh and he told you..."  
  
"No. I never got a chance to talk to Welsh. He was being  
audited  
by the IRS." Fraser said calmly.  
  
"So the first you knew about the situation was..."  
  
"Being called "buddy" by a complete stranger." Fraser  
finished. "I knew it wasn't you, but everyone, including your  
own family, seemed to think it was. I thought I was  
hallucinating, having a bad dream. I kept expecting to wake up."  
  
"Oh, geez, Benny, I had no idea that it would screw up that  
badly. When did you finally get the full story?"  
  
"After I had measured ...Ray's nose, fingerprinted him and  
got  
a dental cast." Fraser smiled in remembrance. "I figured I  
had to prove that this stranger was not you. Then Welsh told me  
about  
the deception."  
  
"I am so sorry, Benny. I didn't know any of this."  
  
"I know you didn't, Ray." Fraser got up and poured more  
coffee for Ray. "Still, I resented you for it. And I resented  
the whole situation."  
  
"Is that why you changed?"  
  
"Changed?"  
  
"Frannie said you changed. She says you push Kowalski  
around."  
  
"Do I?" Fraser thought for a moment. "Yes, I suppose I  
do,  
a little. He makes it very easy to do."  
  
"Benny, I can't say I'm not happy about you getting a little  
backbone. If Kowalski lets you do it..." Ray shrugged. "Just  
don't try it with me, okay. I know I let you talk me into all  
kinds  
of weird stuff, but I'm not gonna let you push me around."  
  
"Ray, I'd never even try. I owe you too much. I can never  
repay  
what I owe you."  
  
"You don't owe me anything, Benny. We're friends. Friends  
don't  
keep score." Ray said seriously, then grinned. "'Sides,  
if they did, I think we're pretty much even. You destroyed my  
car,  
I shot you."  
  
"Even Steven." Fraser said, with a mischievous smile.  
  
****  
  
"Any word on the guy who tried to shoot me, Benny?" Ray  
emerged from the shower just as Fraser hung up the phone.  
  
"He wasn't trying to shoot you, Ray." Fraser replied. "At  
first, Leftenant Welsh thought that one of the other mob families  
was behind the shooting, but it turns out that the suspect is a  
drug  
user, without connections with organised crime. He's in  
custody, so you'll be out tomorrow after your lawyer arranges  
things."  
  
"He got high on PCP or something and went on a rampage in  
the  
police station?" Ray predicted. "That's a load of crap."  
  
"Welsh seemed convinced."  
  
"Benny, the bullpen is on the second floor. Nobody high on  
PCP  
is gonna pick his targets that carefully. See if you can get  
the  
file on it. Something smells in this." Ray stated. "Who's  
on the case?"  
  
"Actually, Ray, you are."  
  
"Me? Am I any good at this sort of thing?"  
  
"Not as good as you used to be, but you do have me to help  
you."  
Fraser replied. Ray looked sharply at him. Fraser had  
changed. Ray  
wasn't sure if it was for the better. Then again,  
so had he and definitely  
not for the better. He unwillingly  
recalled a scene that happened just before he left for Chicago.  
  
****  
  
The little girl wasn't more than seven. She was a pretty  
girl, though dressed and made up like a model. She seemed  
terrified as Guiseppe led her in and left her there with a  
knowing grin.  
  
Ray was utterly confused, but nodded briskly, as if this  
were an everyday occurrence. It turned out it was, since  
Guiseppe nodded.  
  
"I'll see you aren't disturbed, Mr. Lagostini." He said,  
closing the doors behind him.  
  
Ray threw down the magazine he was reading. It was obvious  
what one of Lagostini's perversions was. He was beginning to  
hate Armande Lagostini more and more. He wished the bastard was  
still  
alive, so he could kill him all over again.  
  
The girl was doing a fairly good job hiding her fear, but  
she still cowered and trembled, just inside the door. Ray didn't  
move from his position, sprawled on the big bed.  
  
"Come here." He said quietly, beckoning the girl with a  
gentle smile. She looked more frightened, but came closer to  
stand at the foot of the bed. He moved carefully toward her,  
without getting up. She flinched, but didn't run away. Her big  
blue  
eyes were filling with tears.  
  
"That stuff must hurt your eyes." Ray said softly, as he  
gently touched a tear, coloured black. The girl nodded. Ray  
took his handkerchief out of his pocket and gave it to the girl.  
She carefully wiped under her eyes, an adult gesture obscene on  
someone  
so young. "Why don't you go into the bathroom and wash  
that  
stuff off your face?"  
  
"Okay..." She whispered, confused. She ran from the  
bedroom  
into the bathroom and he could hear water running. She  
emerged half  
an hour later, her eyes red, but mostly clear of  
makeup. She stopped  
at the doorway, then squared her shoulders  
and half ran to the bed,  
climbing on beside him. She ran her  
tiny hands across his chest, her fingers rapidly undoing the  
buttons as if to get it over with as soon as possible.  
  
Ray yelped and jumped off the bed.  
  
"What are you doing, kid?"  
  
The girl looked up at him in astonishment. Then her lips  
trembled and she started to cry. Ray sat down carefully beside  
her.  
  
"I didn't do it right, Mr. Armande?" The girl whispered,  
not raising her head, still sobbing. "I'm sorry. I tried,  
really  
I did."  
  
"I know, honey." Ray said gently. "I don't want to play  
that game."  
  
"Oh." The girl looked up and backed away. "You want..."  
She cried harder, and unwillingly began to untie the sash of her  
dress.  
  
"No." Ray practically yelled, then softened his tone. "No,  
honey, I just want to talk to you." He grabbed some tissues and  
lifted her chin to wipe her eyes and held the tissue so she could  
blow her nose.  
  
"What is your name?" Ray asked, watching her carefully.  
She was so scared, yet strangely docile.  
  
"Melinda." The girl whispered. She looked up and stared  
at him for a long time with solemn blue eyes. "You aren't Mr.  
Armande."  
  
"No, honey, I'm not." Ray knew he was blowing cover, but  
there was no way in hell he was going to let this little girl  
think  
he was about to jump on her. "I'm pretending to be. You  
have  
to pretend that I am Mr. Armande, too."  
  
"How do I do that?" The girl wondered.  
  
"Okay, Mr. Armande plays... games... with you. You have to  
pretend  
that we did play those games, but we won't, okay?"  
  
"You don't want to play?" Melinda looked at him as if he  
had grown an extra head.  
  
"No." Ray shook his head.  
  
****  
  
It took Ray a while to convince Melinda that he didn't want  
to hurt her. They ended up watching television together, with  
her  
head on his shoulder. He had talked her into changing out of  
the  
slinky, too adult dress into a small robe he found in the  
armoire.  
Melinda changed out of her clothes unselfconsciously,  
glancing over  
her shoulder to be sure she was safe, as she did  
so, Ray carefully  
kept his eyes averted, afraid of what he'd  
see. The presence of the robe told him everything he wanted to  
know  
about Armande Lagostini and he felt sick.  
  
Melinda relaxed as she watched television, falling asleep  
near the end of the movie. Ray pulled the comforter over her,  
marvelling  
at how much she trusted him. Then again, he had spent  
two hours alone  
with her and hadn't touched her. That spoke  
volumes about what this beautiful little girl's life was like.  
  
Ray took a shower, putting on Lagostini's silk pyjamas and  
robe. He wasn't sure if Melinda normally spent the entire night  
with  
him, but he wasn't going to disturb her. He climbed into  
bed, under  
the covers, so she wouldn't touch him accidentally,  
and tried to  
sleep.  
  
****  
  
It was very late when Melinda whimpered in her sleep. Ray  
was wide awake instantly.  
  
"What is it, honey?" He asked her softly, propping himself  
on his elbow. In the dim of the room, he could see her blue eyes  
flutter open.  
  
"I'm scared." She whispered. To his surprise, she pushed  
away the comforter and wriggled until she was next to him under  
the  
covers. Automatically, Ray drew her into his arms.  
  
"What are you scared of, Melinda? I won't hurt you."  
  
"I know." She whispered. "He made me promise not to tell.  
He hurt me and I broke my promise. I told Mama."  
  
"And what did your Mama say?" Ray didn't like where this  
was going.  
  
"She told me I was a bad girl for breaking a promise."  
Melinda replied. "She made me go back to Mr. Armande."  
  
Ray said nothing. He had to consciously relax, so as not to  
scare Melinda.  
  
"Do you want to know what games Mr. Armande wants to play?"  
  
No, Ray thought. I don't what to know what that animal did  
to you.  
  
"Do you want to tell me?"  
  
"Uh-hunh. I'd tell my daddy and he'd fix it, but Mama won't  
let me see him. You're like my daddy, so I'll tell you."  
  
In whispers, Melinda told him. She ended up crying bitterly  
into his shoulder, no longer a baby seductress, but a horribly  
wounded  
child. Ray waited until she had cried herself to sleep,  
then eased  
his way to the bathroom and threw up until there was  
nothing left  
to expel.  
  
****  
  
Melinda was awake when he woke up. With a laugh, she jumped  
on the bed, jolting him out of sleep. He tickled her and she  
kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"Good morning, honey." Ray sat up and smiled at her. With  
her long blonde hair in tangles around her face, she looked  
carefree and happy.  
  
"'Morning." She grinned at him. "I washed behind my ears  
and I brushed my teeth."  
  
"Good girl. I'll see if I can get us some breakfast." Ray  
replied. Melinda's smile faded and her shoulders drooped.  
"What's the matter? Not hungry?"  
  
"Mama will be mad at me." Melinda said sadly. "She told  
me  
I had to..."  
  
"Listen, honey." Ray sat beside her. "There aren't going  
to  
be any more games like that. Your mama and the others think I'm  
Mr. Armande. We have to pretend that I am Mr. Armande. That  
means you'll come and see me, but instead of playing those games,  
we'll watch movies. But you can't tell anybody that I'm not Mr.  
Armande  
or that we don't play those games. If anybody finds out  
we're just  
pretending, they'll hurt both of us. I won't let  
anybody hurt you, so long as we keep pretending."  
  
"You want me to pretend that you're Mr. Armande?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You won't hurt me?"  
  
"No."  
  
"And Mama won't be mad at me?"  
  
"No. I promise."  
  
Ray was about to say something else, but a discreet knock  
came to the door.  
  
"Mr. Lagostini?" It was Guiseppe.  
  
"Melinda, I am not trying to play one of Mr. Armande's  
games, but we have to pretend we are. Do you understand?"  
  
Melinda nodded and, with extreme reluctance, he kissed her,  
just as Guiseppe came in with a tray. He could feel her tremble,  
and shrink in his arms. He lifted his lips from hers, but held  
her  
in his lap as Guiseppe put the tray down.  
  
"Anything else, Mr. Lagostini?" He asked, with a knowing  
smirk.  
  
"No." Ray didn't trust himself to say any more.  
  
"Shall I take the little lady home?"  
  
"Not just yet." He held Melinda a little tighter and she  
trembled harder.  
  
"Right." Guiseppe's smirk broadened into a grin and he  
left. As the door closed behind him, he released Melinda, who  
fled  
into the bathroom.  
  
****  
  
Ray could still see Melinda's scared little face in his  
mind's eye. He could still remember how he felt kissing the  
girl. Although he knew that Lagostini had done far worse to her  
and  
he had done his best to help her, that kiss was wrong. No  
matter  
the circumstances, he had molested that child. And he  
knew he'd do it again in a heartbeat, just to keep her safe.  
  
He looked over at Fraser, who was sitting in bed, reading.  
As if feeling Ray's eyes on him, he looked up and smiled. His  
blue  
eyes were exactly the colour of Melinda's, and the innocence in  
those  
eyes, exactly as Melinda's should have had, hurt Ray  
horribly.  
  
"Are you all right, Ray?" Fraser was concerned. Ray looked  
terrible.  
  
"Benny, you ever been undercover?"  
  
"Yes."  
"You ever have to do something really wrong to keep the  
cover?"  
  
"Yes.." Fraser hesitated. He had done very few undercover  
assignments and those were minor. He had done some things that  
violated  
his ethical standards, but he was sure that Ray wasn't  
talking about  
swearing or littering.  
  
"Lagostini was an animal." Ray stated flatly. "And I'm  
starting to be like him."  
  
"No, Ray." Fraser got up and sat on the edge of Ray's bed.  
"You aren't anything like Lagostini. Except in looks, of  
course."  
  
"How do you know, Benny?" Ray replied fiercely, sitting up.  
"How do you know? Did you know Lagostini?"  
  
"No. I know you." Fraser said gently. Ray looked into his  
eyes, those beautiful clear blue eyes, and leaned forward.  
Without really meaning to, he kissed Fraser.  
  
Fraser, startled, flinched and tried to pull back.  
  
"No, dammit, don't run away from me." Ray said in an  
agonized  
tone. He drew Fraser onto the bed, pushing him onto his  
back.  
  
"I'm not, Ray." He said soothingly. He looked up at Ray,  
who was leaning over him with deep felt pain in his eyes. They  
looked  
at each other for a long time. Then Fraser slowly brought  
his left  
hand up to the back of Ray's neck and pulled him closer.  
Their lips  
met. Ray shifted without breaking the kiss and Fraser  
shifted as  
well, so that they were lying together, bodies  
touching, neither knowing quite why this was happening.  
  
****  
  
Fraser felt Ray's tongue invade his mouth and shivered. He  
hadn't known a simple kiss could be quite so erotic. Victoria's  
kisses  
were sensual; Margaret's kiss was hungry, but Ray's kiss  
went straight  
to his groin. He prided himself on his self  
control and this kiss had brushed away all vestiges of control in  
a tide of erotic longing.  
  
"It's okay, sweet." Ray murmured, moving to nibble softly  
on his ear. "I won't hurt you. I promise I won't hurt you."  
  
Fraser didn't answer. He fought down an urge to grab Ray,  
fling him down on the bed and fuck him senseless. He forced  
himself to relax, to concentrate on Ray. Ray was bestowing  
kisses along his jawline, his fingers tweaking his nipples. He  
could  
feel Ray's cock poking out of his pyjama bottoms, hard and  
hot against  
his thigh. He lay quietly for a moment, then moved  
to take Ray's  
cock in hand. Ray shuddered at the first touch,  
then started to move  
his hips, thrusting into Fraser's fist. His  
lips descended on Fraser's  
again, with avid hunger.  
  
Fraser finally broke the kiss and pushed Ray onto his back.  
Stripping off Ray's pyjamas with swift, sure fingers, he ran his  
hands along Ray's body, none too gently, then bent to take that  
hard  
cock in his mouth.  
  
"Oh, God." Ray groaned, hips lifting off the bed. Nobody,  
not Angie, not any of his girlfriends, not even the one guy he'd  
fooled around with had ever sucked him like this. Fraser's  
prelediction for tasting and licking things certainly gave him  
some  
interesting talents. Fraser continued to taste, lick and  
suck, driving  
him crazy with desire. He felt his balls tighten  
and, with a hoarse  
cry, he came into his friend's mouth.  
  
Fraser, his lip shining with Ray's juices, kissed his way up  
his friend's body, finally reaching those full sensual lips. He  
kissed  
Ray, forcing his mouth open, invading with his agile  
tongue. He drew back and smiled, his eyes shining.  
  
Ray saw those blue eyes and Melinda flashed into his mind.  
She would have done that for him, he knew, out of fear. For a  
split  
second, he didn't see Fraser; he saw a little girl with his  
semen  
making her lips full and shiny in the dim light. He closed  
his eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry, Melinda." He murmured very softly. "I'm so  
sorry." Then he wrapped his arms and legs around Fraser,  
revelling  
in the big, hard masculinity of his friend, rejoicing  
in the hard  
cock that was pressed into his belly.  
  
"Ray?" Fraser heard him murmur something, but was too intent  
on the writhing body beneath him to pay much attention.  
  
"Fuck me, Benny. Give it to me." Ray moaned, slipping his  
hand between their bodies and taking the hard shaft into his  
hand.  
  
Fraser was only too willing to oblige. With another hard,  
tongue filled kiss, he turned Ray onto his side and moved into  
position.  
A bit clumsily, he directed his shaft to the tiny  
opening in Ray's body. He tried to be gentle, but it required  
considerable  
force to penetrate the opening. He stopped, just  
inside, afraid that  
he had hurt Ray.  
  
He had, and Ray welcomed the pain. Ray relaxed consciously  
and Fraser slowly slipped in. Once fully inside, Fraser stopped.  
Ray panted for a moment, then his body accustomed itself to the  
intrusion,  
and the pain lessened.  
  
"Do it, Benny." Ray urged. "Please, love, please."  
  
Once he felt Ray relax around him, Fraser slowly thrust into  
his friend. It was hot and tight. He pulled back and thrust  
again and, this time heard Ray moan with pleasure. It took all  
his  
tenuous self control to move slowly, not to thrust as hard  
and fast  
as his body wanted him to.  
  
"Oh, God, Benny, harder." Ray begged. There was no pain  
now, just an excruciating pleasure as Fraser picked up the pace.  
Both of them were bathed in sweat and Fraser's moans mixed with  
Ray's  
as he thrust harder and faster. With a shout that nearly  
deafened  
Ray, Fraser came to a roaring climax, shuddering with  
the aftershocks.  
  
It was a full five minutes before either of them could move.  
Fraser  
withdrew and flopped onto his back, utterly spent. Ray  
rolled onto  
his front beside Fraser, laying his head across his  
folded arms,  
also exhausted.  
  
The room stayed silent; neither of them felt like talking.  
Fraser had nothing to say. He was trying to figure out why he  
had  
responded so powerfully to Ray's kiss. He had known for a  
long time  
that he found Ray sexually attractive; he had dealt  
with his bisexuality  
long ago. He just never thought that Ray  
would be interested in him,  
or that at the first sign of  
attraction, he'd respond like a caribou in heat. The lack of  
control disturbed him. He liked slow, seductive sex; had never  
wanted  
raw, animal encounters. Yet at the first sign of  
attraction from a man he wanted, he had eschewed tenderness for  
sheer  
physical gratification.  
  
He knew he was lonely. He knew he was lonely for Ray in  
particular. Perhaps it was because there was no time for sweet  
seduction;  
Ray would be leaving soon. When Ray got back, there  
would be plenty  
of time for romance. Now that he knew Ray wanted  
him, he would prepare  
a welcome home that Ray would never forget.  
As he fell asleep, his  
mind awhirl with plans, he wondered idly  
who Melinda was.  
  
Ray felt the solid warmth of Fraser beside him and felt safe  
for the first time in a long time. This was something he wanted  
for  
himself, not something Armande Lagostini took for himself.  
He wanted  
proof that Benny wanted him, that he wasn't ashamed or  
disgusted  
by him; that Benny had forgiven him for leaving. He  
loved Benny so  
much and for so long. It tore him apart to leave  
Chicago and what  
Lagostini did to Melinda widened the hole. He  
felt as if the gap  
in his heart was leaking bits of Ray Vecchio  
and letting Armande  
Lagostini fill in what was missing. Here,  
with Benny beside him,  
with Benny's essence inside him, he felt  
whole again. Moving closer,  
he fell asleep with Fraser's arms holding  
him close.  
  
****  
  
Fraser and Ray woke at almost exactly the same time. Ray  
looked at Fraser, then gently disengaged himself from the other  
man's  
embrace and went to take a shower. Fraser sat up and ran  
his hand  
through his hair. Then he picked up the telephone and  
called Leftenant  
Welsh about the day's schedule.  
  
Once dressed and finished breakfast, Huey came to pick them  
up and that was the last chance they had to be alone together.  
Neither  
of them referred to the events of the night before.  
  
****  
  
The meeting took place in Welsh's office. The shooter was  
in custody and it was considered safe for Armande Lagostini to be  
there now. Ray was brought into the office in handcuffs, with  
Fraser  
leading him.  
  
"Kevin." Ray nodded to the lawyer, who stood respectfully  
at his entrance.  
  
"Mr. Lagostini. Lieutenant Welsh, my client possesses a  
valid firearms permit for the state of Illinois. If the police  
officer  
who took the initiative was a little more scrupulous  
about proper procedure, this whole incident would not have taken  
place."  
  
"You're right. Mr. Lagostini, you're free to go. We  
apologize for the inconvenience." Welsh took the handcuff keys  
and unlocked the cuffs. He knew, as did Ray, that the ink on the  
permit wasn't even dry yet and it lacked verifiable signatures  
from  
the proper sources.  
  
"Mr. Lagostini, I strongly suggest that you consider  
pressing charges for false arrest."  
  
"No, Kevin, I've spent far too much time in Chicago as it  
is."  
Ray replied. "Apology accepted. Lieutenant Welsh, what  
about  
the shooting incident?"  
  
"The guy was high on dope, made some wild accusations and  
took  
a few pot shots. It's unavoidable in a downtown precinct."  
  
"How inconvenient." Ray sniffed and turned to leave. What  
bullshit, he thought.  
  
****  
  
They were on the way out when a voice screamed out, causing  
both Ray and his lawyer to stop in their tracks.  
  
"Fucking pervert. Lagostini, you're a dead man for what you  
did to my daughter." A man, followed by Ray Kowalski, Jack Huey  
and Tom Dewey, ran up to Ray, panting. "They're saying that I  
was on drugs, but I know what you did to my little girl. I got  
her  
back and she told me what you did to her. You fucking child  
molester.  
She's only seven, you bastard."  
  
Ray ignored his lawyer's attempt to get him to keep on  
walking and looked around. In a corner, by his old desk, was  
Melinda. She looked at her furious father, then at Ray.  
Bursting into tears, she ran to Ray. Automatically, he knelt.  
  
"I didn't tell. I didn't." She said to him.  
  
****  
  
"Mr. Lagostini, if you would come this way." Welsh seemed  
to be the only one with any presence of mind. Kowalski was  
looking at Ray with loathing, Huey looked disgusted and Dewey  
looked  
confused. Fraser looked absolutely blank.  
  
"Lieutenant, my client's rights..."  
  
"Are being protected if you come with us." A hint of  
impatience  
hardened Welsh's voice. They all trooped into one of  
the interrogation  
rooms, Melinda refusing to let go of Ray's  
hand.  
  
"All right, what's this all about?" Welsh demanded. "Mr.  
Wells, you first."  
  
"That fucking bastard..." Wells stabbed a finger at Ray,  
then stopped to take a deep breath. "I picked Melinda up from  
school two days ago. My ex wouldn't let me see her, so I got a  
court  
order and she had to let me visit with Melinda. Melinda  
told me about  
the games Mr. Armande would play with her and I  
took her to a doctor.  
She's been... violated. I did some  
checking around and found out that Lagostini was in Chicago. I  
was  
going to kill you, you son of a bitch. I want to see you  
nailed to the wall for what you did to my daughter."  
  
Fraser's expression grew more impassive. This seven year  
old child was Melinda?  
  
"What did he do to you, Melinda?" Welsh asked her gently.  
  
"Nothing. He didn't do anything to me." Melinda answered,  
in a whisper. "I swear, daddy, he didn't do anything to me."  
  
Wells' jaw tightened.  
  
"Mr. Lagostini?" Welsh looked to Ray.  
  
"I know Melinda. She's the daughter of one of my  
administrative assistants. I let her watch movies on my VCR when  
she was waiting for her mother, that's all." Ray replied  
carefully.  
Melinda looked to her father and nodded in agreement.  
  
"Lagostini, everybody knows what you do to little girls."  
Wells said venomously.  
  
"Can you provide proof, Mr. Wells?" The lawyer asked  
calmly.  
"Provide witnesses? Melinda herself says that Mr.  
Lagostini  
didn't molest her, so unless you have more solid  
evidence, I suggest you desist in these insinuations."  
  
"You tried to cover up my accusations." Wells glared at  
Welsh. "And Melinda is too scared to testify against Lagostini.  
You know damn well that there aren't any witnesses that aren't in  
his pocket. That's why I tried to kill the son of a bitch  
instead of filing charges."  
  
"Book him for attempted murder." Welsh said to Huey.  
  
"Lieutenant Welsh, is that necessary?" Ray asked suddenly.  
"Mr. Wells won't be bothering me again, will you, Mr. Wells?  
After all, you have your hands full caring for that beautiful  
daughter of yours, don't you?" Yes, Wells had got the message,  
loud and clear.  
  
"Since you're the intended victim, I suppose we can drop any  
charges." Welsh sighed. "I trust you'll be leaving Chicago,  
Mr.  
Lagostini?"  
  
"Right away. Come along, Kevin. I've wasted far too much  
time  
already." Ray rose languidly and went over to Melinda. "I  
don't think your father will want you to see me anymore.  
Goodbye, honey."  
  
"Goodbye." Melinda gave him a fierce hug, then kissed him  
on the lips. Ray pushed her away gently and left.  
  
****  
  
"No. My brother would never touch a kid. No way."  
Francesca said vehemently. Huey, Elaine, Welsh, Dewey, Fraser  
and  
Kowalski were sitting around Kowalski's living room. The  
issue had to be discussed and that was the only place private  
enough.  
  
"I agree. Ray could be a real pain in the ass, but a child  
molester?  
No."  
  
"I don't know. If Lagostini was already screwing the kid  
and  
she didn't mind, maybe he's doing it to keep the cover."  
Dewey  
offered his opinion, only to be sharply swatted across the  
back of  
the head by Elaine.  
  
"Lieutenant?" Kowalski asked, taking another swig of beer.  
  
"I don't think Ray would go that far for the sake of a  
cover." Welsh said absently. He was thinking hard about how to  
cover all this up until the job was done. He had known that  
Lagostini liked little girls, but he knew Ray would have refused  
the job had he known. He also knew how deeply Ray could go  
undercover if he had to. He wasn't sure at all whether Ray had  
been  
with the kid or not. If it had been the only way to protect  
the girl,  
he might have, depending on how closely Lagostini was  
watched by  
his own men. He hoped not, but if Ray had been  
fooling around with the girl, he wouldn't physically hurt her.  
Melinda's  
reaction was typical of a victim who was both afraid of  
and loved  
her tormentor. Welsh didn't want to discuss it. He  
didn't even want to think about it.  
  
"I don't know the guy." Kowalski began. "But I don't think  
Fraser would be close friends with a guy who'd screw a little  
kid.  
So my vote's no."  
  
Fraser sat a little apart from the others. Six months ago,  
he would have said no, without question. Ray wasn't a sexual  
deviant. He wasn't cruel and he wasn't immoral.  
  
However, he recalled what Ray had said. Ray had hinted that  
he had done things for the sake of the cover that he was ashamed  
of; things that he wouldn't tell Fraser about. And, while making  
love, Ray had murmured "I'm sorry, Melinda, I am so sorry..."  
  
"Benton?" Francesca asked. "Tell the Dew-drip over there  
that he's got it all wrong."  
  
"Ray is a decent and caring man." Fraser said carefully.  
"I think he's very sorry for what has happened to Melinda. Ray  
would never hurt a child in any way and I resent any implication  
that he may have done so."  
  
Ray would not have, he thought. But how much of the man I  
saw today is Ray Vecchio and how much is Armande Lagostini?  
  
  
  
Comments can be sent to:  
  
  
  
\--  
Adrienne  
  
  
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